葉英傑／銅鑰詩世界

雷蒙德。卡佛的詩

poetyip | 15 四月, 2013 22:26

上個月買了雷蒙德。卡佛的《火》，對他的詩驚為天人，所以立刻到amazon.com買了他的詩選集。二手的。各位可能覺得有趣，通常人應該對他的小說驚為天人，我卻喜歡他的詩（小說應該會找來看，但相對來說比較容易找，不急）。書上星期到手，我決定隨意翻開一頁，看到哪首詩，就把它譯出來。下面就是我隨意翻開的那首詩。幸好，他的英文不是超級深奧，也幸好這首詩（或他的詩風）很對我胃口。當然，我的翻譯，肯定仍有進步的空間。

把你自己鎖在外頭，然後試著回到裡面　　雷蒙德。卡佛
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　銅鑰譯
你單純地外出和關上門
沒有細想。當你回頭
看你所做的事
已經太遲。如果這聽上去
就像人生的話，好的。

這是下雨天，有鑰匙的鄰居
出外。我試了又試
下層的窗。盯著
內裡的沙發，盆栽，桌子
椅子，和立體聲組合。
我的咖啡杯和煙灰缸在那玻璃面的桌上
等著我，我的心
飛向他們。我說：「你好，朋友們。」
或一些類似的話。畢竟，
這已不算太壞。
更壞的事情已經發生。這
甚至顯得有趣。我找到梯子。
拿著它然後將它挨著房子
接著在雨中爬上陽台，
讓自己跨過欄杆
試一試那道門。是鎖上了
當然。但我探視剛好沒有變化的
我的書桌，一些紙張，和我的椅子。
這扇窗是當我我坐在桌旁
抬起頭向外張望
那桌子的另一面。
這裡不像下層，我想。
這是別的東西。

它是可像那樣探視的東西，無形的，
從陽台上。在那裡，裡面，不在那裡。
我覺得我甚至不能談到它。
我把臉貼近玻璃
想像我在裡面，
坐在桌旁，偶爾
從我工作中抬起頭
想著其他的地方
和其他的時刻
我愛過的人。

在雨中我站在那裡有一分鐘。
想到我是最幸運的人。
就算有一波哀思掠過我
就算我對我做成的傷害
強烈地感到羞愧
我擊碎那美麗的窗
回到裡面。

Locking Yourself Out, Then Trying to Get Back In Raymond Carver

You simply go out and shut the door
without thinking. And when you look back
at what you’ve done
it’s too late. If this sounds
like the story of a life, okay.

It was raining. The neighbors who had
a key were away. I tried and tried
the lower windows. Stared
inside at the sofa, plants, the table
and chairs, the stereo set-up.
My coffee cup and ashtray waited for me
on the glass-topped table, and my heart
went out to them. I said, Hello, friends,
or something like that. After all,
this wasn’t so bad.
Worse things had happened. This
was even a little funny. I found the ladder.
Took that and leaned it against the house.
Then climbed in the rain to the deck,
swung myself over the railing
and tried the door. Which was locked,
of course. But I looked in just the same
at my desk. Some papers, and my chair.
This was the window on the other side
of the desk where I’d raise my eyes
and stare out when I sat at that desk.
This is not like downstairs, I thought.
This is something else.

And it was something to look in like that, unseen,
from the deck. To be there, inside, and not be there.
I don’t even think I can talk about it.
I brought my face close to the glass
and imagined myself inside,
sitting at the desk. Looking up
from my work now and again.
Thinking about some other place
and some other time.
The people I had loved then.

I stood there for a minute in the rain.
Considering myself to be the luckiest of men.
Even though a ware of grief passed through me.
Even though I felt violently ashamed
of the injury I’d done back then.
I bashed that beautiful window.
And stepped back in.